Emma Watson and Zoe Wannamaker both banned from driving on the same day – on yer broomsticks then!
It seems even the magical world isn’t immune to the long arm of the law… or should I say, the long quill of Traffic Enforcement. In a bizarre twist of reality-meets-fantasy, Harry Potter stars Emma Watson (aka Hermione Granger) and Zoë Wanamaker (Madam Hooch) have been broomed off the road – both handed driving bans for exceeding speed limits in their respective metal chariots.
Yes, it’s official: even Hogwart’s brightest can’t charm their way out of a speeding ticket. And Madam Hooch? Let’s just say her ‘watch the speed’ advice only applies during flying lessons, apparently.
Caught by a Gatso, Not a Goblin
The real-world reports claim Emma was caught flying – sorry, driving – her blue Audi S3 at a velocity that would make even the Knight Bus blush. Meanwhile, Zoë was clocked somewhere between “too fast” and “Warp 9” in her own motor.
One can only imagine the scene: the familiar flash of the speed camera, followed by a panicked Hermione muttering “Accio plausible excuse!” while Madam Hooch reached for her metaphorical Firebolt to leg it. Sadly, even Expelliarmus doesn’t work on roadside enforcement.
Actually, they weren’t even going that fast. 38mph in a 30 and 46mph in 40 zone respectively for Watson and Wannamaker.
Snape’s Got a New Job… and he’s handing out tickets
In our alternate (but frankly more entertaining) universe, it wasn’t a Gatso that nabbed them – it was Professor Severus Snape, now rebranded as Sergeant Snape of the Magical Motoring Division. Standing by a street-racer Audi S3, quill in hand (because pens are so Muggle), he coldly utters:
“Speeding, Miss Granger? Ten points from Gryffindor… and three points off your licence.”
Wanamaker’s Madam Hooch just looks away, trying to convince him her broomstick was on auto-pilot.
Croydon Magistrates’ Court or Azkaban? Take Your Pick
Now, while the courts haven’t quite decided whether repeat speeding offences warrant a stint in Azkaban or just a morning of bad coffee and stern words at Croydon Magistrates’, it’s fair to say the wizarding community is rattled.
Public reaction has ranged from “How could Hermione?” to “I always knew Hooch had a lead foot.” Meanwhile, Ron Weasley is apparently relieved it wasn’t him behind the wheel, and Harry… well, he still thinks the Audi is some kind of new Horcrux.
Final Word: Spellbound… But Obey the Speed Limit
This is your reminder – whether you’re behind the wheel of a flying Ford Anglia or a fast Audi – slow down or get Snape’d. Speeding may feel exhilarating, but you’ll be sobbing into your Butterbeer when the points rack up and your licence vanishes quicker than a Disapparation.
Like, share, and tag a friend who thinks their Golf GTI is a Nimbus 2000. And if you want incantations that could make those pesky tickets disappear, or stop you getting nabbed in the first place – watch the video above, because I’ve been looking through the Standard Book of Spells – and I think I’ve got something!
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