EXCLUSIVE! Supercar Ban in London!

An official internal memo leaked to me reveals plans to ban supercars and performance cars from central London!

LONDON, 01 04 2025 – It might just be the most anti-car policy to ever hit the streets of London — and yes, you read that right. Supercars. Banned. In Central London.

According to a leaked internal document from Transport for London (TfL), a bold new initiative is being prepared that would see high-performance vehicles effectively outlawed from parts of the capital. And no, this isn’t more about ULEZ, congestion charging, or clean air zones.

This is something else entirely. Something… different.

‘The ULEZ Files’ A Novel

Introducing: Operation Subdued Streets

Under the working title Operation Subdued Streets, TfL — in consultation with the Mayor’s Office — is preparing to trial restrictions on what it calls “high-disruption vehicles.”

That’s code for anything fast, loud, flashy, or remotely interesting. The leaked memo outlines a framework targeting vehicles that:

• • Produce over 400bhp
• • Exceed 90db exhaust noise
• • Are valued over £100,000
• • Or — and here’s where it gets even more absurd — score highly on the Visual Aggression Index (VAI)

That’s right. There’s now a metric for how angry your car looks.

• Spoilers? Points.
• Chrome wrap? Points.
• Scissor doors? Red alert.

Trial Zones Target London’s Supercar Hotspots

The memo reveals that the pilot programme is set to roll out in Mayfair, Knightsbridge, Soho, and Westminster — basically ground zero for London’s supercar culture. These are the areas where tourists gather for car-spotting, where influencers film reactions, and where V12s once rumbled freely through the night.

Well… not for long, apparently.

The crackdown will be enforced using ANPR cameras, sound monitoring tech, and a literal scoring system to flag offending vehicles. Offenders will face fines, clamping, and possibly being banned from the zone altogether.

London’s War on Joy?

While potholes deepen, public transport falters, and the air in some tube stations remains thick enough to chew — TfL has turned its attention to Lamborghinis. Priorities, right?

They say it’s about noise, but frankly, you can walk through Soho at 10pm on a Saturday and hear a hen party from Stoke-on-Trent outshouting any Ferrari 488.

Let’s be real. This isn’t about pollution. It’s not about decibels. It’s about control.

Are Petrolheads Being Punished for Passion?

It’s a slippery slope — from banning sound and style to banning expression itself.

Once they can ban these cars in Zone 1, what’s stopping them from targeting your Golf R in Zone 3? Or your modified MX-5 in Croydon? Or a Ford Capri 2.8 doing a cheeky burnout in Surrey?

The modern supercar isn’t just about speed. It’s spectacle. It makes people smile. It brings people together. Kids chase them like they’re flinging sweets from their tailpipes. This is culture.

The Visual Disruption Allowance – A Loophole?

But wait — buried in the draft memo is one more nugget: the Visual Disruption Allowance (VDA). Residents living in the zones who already own a “high-disruption” vehicle may apply for an exemption.

You’ll just need to fill out a form asking things like:

• “Is your exhaust tip wider than a tennis ball?”
• “Does your car colour shift in sunlight?”
• “On a scale of 1–10, how much do you enjoy revving your engine?”

Yes, really.

You’ll also need to explain why your McLaren is “essential to your lifestyle needs” or how it helps your mental wellbeing – actually that second part should be easy.

The End of Car Culture in London?

Jokes aside, this is serious. If implemented, this policy could signal the end of performance car culture in the capital. Instead of celebrating engineering brilliance, we’re being told to keep it quiet, tone it down, and park it up.

Is that really the London we want? Because according to the leaked document, the policy is due to be finalised later this year… with enforcement kicking off in the first quarter of next year.

A very… significant date, in fact.

That’s right. Enforcement begins on April 1st, 2026.

Let That Sink In… Yes — April the First.

---

Still Fuming? Or Laughing?

If you’re still reading, you’re either absolutely fuming… or you’re laughing your head off. Maybe both. That’s fair. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t seem so far-fetched, does it? Thanks for playing along — and remember:

If your car can’t pass the Visual Aggression Index… you’re probably doing something right.

---

Follow all my channels https://linktr.ee/browncarguy
Get my books! https://amzn.eu/d/9fwhSoQ | https://amzn.eu/d/9IHhqXA
Sponsor my content from as little as £3 at https://ko-fi.com/browncarguy
Big Thanks to my Supporters!
Tom Conway-Gordon (https://www.instagram.com/anycoloursolongasits_black/)
And others! 🙏🏽☺️

---

I’ve Written the Ultimate Guide to Automotive Content Creation