Everything You Love about Cars is Disappearing!
I know what you’re thinking… lately, I’ve been thinking it too – cars and the car industry… things are… well, I don’t know, they’re not quite as they should be, as they used to be, right? And that’s putting it lightly. Somewhere, there’s a serious misfire happening, and gears are grinding to a halt. So what’s gone wrong? Where, when, how? Well, let’s get into that, right after this.
What is going on?! The problem with cars and the car industry these days amounts to driving a never-ending motorway of misery while you’re on flat tyres, in thick pea-souper fog, with no brakes! I mean really, when it comes to motoring, is this the end of days? No, of course it isn’t. Well, probably isn’t; I mean maybe… okay, look, who knows?
But why sound so gloomy? Well, where do I begin?
Let’s start with virtual nanny systems, sorry, I mean driver aids. I remember even six years ago, driving a Volvo down Sheikh Zayed Road in Dubai, and much to my absolute shock and surprise, it automatically switched lanes thinking a swerving driver was going to crash into me. These systems are supposed to make driving “safer” and “easier” – but they also make you poop your pants! I mean, the number of times I’ve been carefully parking a car and it’s suddenly slammed to a halt, with me jumping out convinced I’d hit something.
Take some of those lane-keep assist systems – no, really, take them away from me! They really do my head in, especially when the steering wheel constantly seems to be fighting you. It’s like having a nervous driving instructor in the other seat, constantly reaching out and grabbing the wheel. Have you been in the situation where someone in a parked car opens a door, so you move across to avoid it, perfectly capable of seeing there’s no one coming the other way, and then the bloody car tries to pull you back over again – what the hell?! When I’m driving, I don’t want to feel like I’m playing tug-of-war with my damn car!
So many times, I’ve been on press launch drives, where after a few miles, I’ve literally had to pull over to try and figure out how to shut these systems off – and that’s no easy task sometimes. It’s often only possible via a series of completely unintuitive menu selections on an infotainment screen – they’re usually buried so deep, it’s like you’re trying to hack the Pentagon! Safer? Maybe. Easier? How? Annoying? Oh yeah!
Cruise control – I don’t mind. However, I only started using it years ago to avoid the possibility of over-speeding when all the cameras started popping up everywhere on motorways. But adaptive cruise control systems? Motorway autopilot-style systems? You’re motoring along and suddenly your car hits the brakes because the person three miles ahead has decided to coast along at 50 mph? Brilliant. There’s a car that thinks it’s smarter than me but is trying to get me rear-ended and squashed by a fully-laden 18-wheeler HGV!
And these semi-autonomous driving systems – they’re really just lulling you into a false sense of security – essentially encouraging you to scroll through TikTok while at the wheel, only to then be captured by the new AI cameras that can peer into your car and know when you’re holding your phone! In fact, all these systems making it so easy to motor along are making drivers complacent instead of attentive. They’re basically just dumbing us all down, preparing us for… no, actually, let’s put it another way… weaning us off the addiction to driving, so we’ll readily accept fully autonomous vehicles, which, with the advancements in AI, are likely to become a real thing by 2030, I reckon.
And then you have cross-traffic alert for when you’re reversing out of parking slots – supposedly, you don’t even need to look back because of these and the 360-degree cameras. Talking of cameras, I absolutely detest the digital side mirrors. I mean, what a great idea in principle, very sci-fi – and you all know what a big Trekkie I am – but as an old-skool driver, I tend to use the glass mirrors to give me an idea of depth and angles. If there is a blind spot in the mirror, I move my head forward to try and see more, before changing lanes I don’t rely on blind-spot indicators, I turn and look over my shoulder! But these digital mirrors are just flat, you can only see what it shows you, and that too in 2D.
If they don’t show you what you can see, they’ll beep at you or bong at you, as well as the proximity sensors, and now the speed warnings, and all the various other utterly inexplicable warnings that I’m usually clueless about each time I get into a new press car. Some of them beep and bong so much and so frantically that it’s like having a conversation with R2-D2 after C-3PO has just stated something particularly inane!
It’s all a bit like you’ve given up on life and want your car to do everything for you. I mean, after all, that is what it’s trying to do – turn us into passengers in our own cars. Like I said, get us used to being driven by machines rather than driving the machines!
Drive-by-wire, electric power steering – argh, those things really ruined Porsche 911s for me – CVT automatic transmissions, and automatically adjusting suspension systems that recalibrate a million times a second. That’s almost as quick as McLaren introducing yet another supercar variant. I mean, can you keep track of them?
Anyway, the point is you can’t feel the road anymore, you can’t hear and sense the crunching, clacking, smashing of the mechanicals, you can’t sense if the car is frantically near its limits or still thinks this is just a school run. We’re getting further and further away from the visceral experience of driving, forget analogue, we’re not even talking about a digital driving experience – it’s now essentially getting virtual! Don’t believe me? Remember when Pierce Brosnan’s Bond rolled around in the back of his 7 Series driving his car with his phone? Well, real-life BMWs have been able to do that, getting themselves in and out of parking spots, for quite some years now – as have some other brands.
And with drive-by-wire systems, you’re essentially doing the same thing even when you’re at the wheel.
Alright, let’s leave the cars for a bit and look to the madness of the motor industry – well, it’s in the process of slowly going mad, isn’t it? I mean, in 35 years of covering the car industry, I’ve never seen it in such a state of utter confusion. It’s like Doc Brown constantly going back in time in his DeLorean and fluxing up the future, and then running around shrieking “Great Scott!” and passing out as he realizes what’s happened and tries to fix what he already broke by breaking something else instead. It’s a never-ending cycle of prophetic doom that you’ve just got to hit the brakes on, right?
The automotive industry is having a full-on identity crisis. It doesn’t know whether it wants to save the world, make money, or just curl up in a corner and cry into its oil sump. It’s torn between the tried-and-tested 130-year-old internal combustion engine, hybrid tech, halfway-house plug-ins, elaborate hydrogen fuel cells… or God knows what else! Actually, nobody really seems to know what the hell they’re doing anymore. The manufacturers are like headless chickens running in every direction, hoping that one of them accidentally stumbles upon the billion-dollar answer to the future of mobility.
You can see that in the way they keep making announcements and then backtracking on them. Like Volvo – just recently, it officially abandoned its target to produce only fully electric cars by 2030, admitting it will still be selling some hybrid vehicles by that date. This is blatantly going back on the commitment it made three years ago.
And just a day or two ago, Renault CEO Luca de Meo reportedly warned that Europe’s auto industry could face fines of as much as 15 billion euros – that’s nearly 17 and a half billion dollars – for carbon emissions due to slowing demand for electric vehicles. You see, car makers face tougher EU CO2 targets in 2025, as the cap on average emissions from new vehicle sales falls to just 94 grams per kilometer from what it was in 2024 – 116 grams per kilometer. If car companies can’t do it, they’ll have to pay up or they’ll have to cut production of around 2.5 million vehicles.
You know what that means? Factory shutdowns, industries closing, and jobs being lost. You know what else that means? To make up the shortfall in cars – which, at the end of the day, the market will still need – Europeans will be forced to buy Chinese cars, despite the 50% tariff now being imposed on them. And you know what that means? Greater global carbon footprints and emissions, due to these cars being built there and shipped here, all because Europe’s own car companies are fined into extinction in an attempt to reduce CO2.
It’s like going on a diet by throwing out all the perfectly good food in your house, only to end up binging on takeaways every night because, guess what? You’ve still got to eat, right? But that food’s going to cost you more, and it’s going to make you sicker. And then there’s all that packaging going into landfill. You see what I’m getting at? Europe’s car industry is so busy meeting its impossible targets that it’s outsourcing the very thing it’s trying to fix!
Then there’s the case of car companies that had just one job – just one kind of car they had to make, just one type of vehicle to perfect – instead, they have been flailing around, venturing into areas their founders never meant them to be in.
Take Ferrari. Once, the Maranello machines were synonymous with speed, style, and a soundtrack so glorious it could bring you to tears. Still does! Like when you hear something like a Ferrari F40 at full chat, right? You feel it, yeah? Or is it just me?
But tell me, what do you think of when I say “Ferrari”? Knuckle-bitingly gorgeous, sleek red chariots born out of Hell’s fire but endowed with a heavenly power plant that sings a symphony of motoring euphoria as it carves up corners and punches a prancing horse-sized hole in the horizon. What blessed petrolhead joy, right?
Well, now the Ferrari all the influencers are getting selfies with is not a GTO, not a Daytona or a Spider – it’s the Purosangue. A mouthful of a name for what amounts to a family hauler on stilts – oh yes, a Ferrari SUV! Granted, it might be the sexiest SUV you’ve ever seen, but it’s still an SUV. The maker of low-slung, screaming scarlet missiles that could scare a Formula 1 driver senseless is now rolling out a luxury grocery-getter. What’s next? Ferrari minivans?
Oh, but wait, they’re just following Lamborghini. The Urus – because apparently what the world needed was a Lamborghini with enough boot space for a family picnic basket. So much for the legendary devil-may-care style of Lambo owners of the past, right? I mean, who drives these things, James Bond’s mum?
Actually, no – because she would be driving a DBX! What’s that? An Aston Martin SUV, of course. Aston! The brand of Bond, the brand of suave sophistication. Daring action evolving into a brand of Cayenne copycats. Well, I guess Bond has a family now, so this is the car he’ll need.
But what happened to Lotus? Remember the founder Colin Chapman’s mantra? “To make it go fast, simplify, and then add lightness.” Well, Lotus – which until two years ago still made the most engaging and exciting sports cars on the planet – not only got complex by adopting electrickery, but also abandoned lightness not just with heavy EV battery packs, but by introducing the big Eletre luxury EV SUV. Colin Chapman is right now spinning in his grave at 8,000 RPM!
What about the cars that were meant to be fat and ferocious? While, thank God, Ford is staying the course with the V8 Mustang, Chevrolet has killed the Camaro. Likewise, the mighty HEMI Dodge Challenger/Charger duo is dead! Wait, wait… I’m sorry, but when did Dodge get an environmental conscience? This is the company that gave us the Hellcat Redeye for devil’s sake! A car so loud and angry, you expected it to breathe fire down the drag strip and demand a sacrifice every time it completed the quarter-mile in 10 seconds or less!
Dodge without a hulking great whining grunty supercharged V8 is like apple pie without apples! It’s no surprise that Walter Chrysler’s great-grandson just tried to put in a bid to buy back Chrysler and Dodge from Stellantis – the European giant that also owns Fiat, Citroën, Peugeot, and Vauxhall. Unfortunately, they told him to go take a hike on an electric scooter – which probably wouldn’t even have gotten him to the airport, never mind all the way back to America!
There is a new Dodge Charger out this year – it’s electric, and eventually, there will be a V6, but no V8. Come on, that’s like bringing a pillow to a punch-up! Like a heavy metal band rocking with ukuleles! Like a cowboy without a six-shooter! The whole point of Dodge muscle cars was unapologetic, gas-guzzling madness. They were the kind of cars that made your neighbours hate you, but also secretly envy you. You didn’t care either way, because they fired you up on a sleepy Monday morning and made you glad to be alive!
Meanwhile, the big players are all busy watering down their identity, scrabbling around trying to figure out electricity. Along comes China, as I’ve already mentioned, quietly slipping into the automotive world like ninja assassins in the night. They’re pumping out cars – and especially cutting-edge EVs – by the bazillions. And you know what? They’re pretty good. The cars are smart, affordable, efficient.
Time will tell how the EV era will play out, but as things stand, the Chinese caught the old-world car industry napping at the wheel of their fossil-fuelled jalopies. I mean sure, all they’re doing is producing the same copy-cat identity-kit samey-wamey blandmobiles with batteries and tech no driver can fathom. They may be soulless, but like I said, you can’t really fault them. Some Chinese cars are genuinely brilliant at what they do.
Frankly though, isn’t that the way of the world now anyway? I mean, Stellantis owns everybody else, and Volkswagen owns what’s left. Badge-engineering is all the rage, but the genuine uniqueness of each brand has long been diluted and distilled into sugar-free decaf light. I mean, in the past, even blindfolded – don’t drive blindfolded – but you would know when you were driving a perky Peugeot, a quirky Citroën, or a vacuous Vauxhall. But now, you’d be scratching your head to discern the difference until you got out and looked for the badge.
That goes for most current car makers. Let’s be honest, you could these days, quite conceivably pick up a rental at an airport, drive a couple of hours to your destination, book into a hotel, and the next morning wander out bleary-eyed into the car park and not be able to recall what car it was that you arrived in – and that’s you being a car fan!
And yes, this is partly – though not entirely – because the soul has been sapped out of them through charging sockets. Electric cars are clean, they are quick, they are comfortable, and they’re certainly quiet. But where’s the fun?
Yes, I know, I’ve experienced it. The incredible instant torque chucks you back in your seat so hard it’ll literally take your breath away the moment you flex your right foot. But it’s like riding a rollercoaster in which everyone is just sitting silent and serious. No screaming, no drama. You know what I want when I floor the right pedal of a great car? I want the whole street to know. I want small animals to flee for their lives, and I want children to drop their lollipops in awe. I want to feel like I’ve ignited a volcanic eruption under the bonnet.
With EVs, it’s like being shot out of a cannon with earmuffs on.
So does the joy of driving still exist? You said yes, didn’t you? Where – classic cars, right? Maybe, but where’s the actual driving bit of that equation? I mean, classic car ownership should be about caring for it, cajoling it, curating it, and cursing it when it starts clanging and smoke starts streaming from the engine bay as you’re forced to pull over. In short, it means putting the car to the purpose that God’s infinite wisdom intended for it – driving. Trouble is, nowadays, classics aren’t really cars anymore – they’re commodities, they’re investments. They’re sitting in climate-controlled garages, only coming out when it’s time for another millionaire to flip them at auction. These aren’t cars anymore, they’re collectible art pieces.
Collectors are treating the Ferrari 250 GTO like the Mona Lisa, locked away from the world, too valuable to touch – never mind drive. What’s the point of a car so valuable you’re scared to let it touch tarmac? And I don’t just mean things like the McLaren F1, but even a ‘60s muscle car at over $100,000 in some cases – it’s become too precious to let rip in, which is what they were meant to be for! It’s a car! It’s meant to be driven, to be enjoyed! Come on classic car owners, daily drive your pride and joy!
Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck in silently efficient EVs and soul-sucking SUVs, not even owning them anymore but direct-debiting a monthly lease payment. Then forking out a load of cash for exorbitant insurance premiums, and of course, crossing the taxman’s palm with gold forged in the firing chambers of your three-cylinder turbos. And that’s before the government hits you with yet further charges for the privilege of peddling your pride and joy beyond your driveway, like congestion, emissions, and ULEZ charges.
So look, here’s how it all stands. You’ve heard me rant and rave, but we still hold the keys to our cars. And as long as we have those keys, they can’t take away the thrill of driving from us. Not yet. Though, they could in the near future, take our keys and our cars. I predicted as much in my book “Quantum of Solace: Lessons from the Finish Line,” available now on Amazon! Plug, plug, plug.
But if we want to stop that from ever happening, we can’t just sit by idling our engines (and yes, there’s probably a fine for that too by the way!). Cars aren’t just appliances to get us from A to B, they’re expressions of freedom, of passion, of who we are. Driving used to mean something – it was about identity, adventure, freedom. They’re not meant to be bland efficient appliances, soulless tech pods that just move us around without a shred of exhilaration.
This is a rallying cry to all petrolheads, gearheads, motoring enthusiasts – whoever you are. The ones who know that a car isn’t just about getting somewhere, it’s about the experience and joy of getting there. Take a stand, turn your keys in those ignition barrels, rev your engines, and make some noise. Remind bystanders what a real car looks, sounds, and smells like because if we don’t, the thrill of driving, the roar of a V8, the scream of a high-revving engine, the joy of a manual gearbox – it’ll all be history.
Do we really want to live in a world where the best we can do is sit back and let a computer drive us around while we lament our lack of Instagram followers?
I mean, you can choose to accept the sterilized, risk-free, guilt-free autonomous personal pods of a future that preciously preserves you while decrying the over-infestation of the planet by people. But you’ll get slotted into a box, on a table, as a number. Remember the prisoner’s cry – “I am not a number, I am a free man!” He predicted it in 1967, and it’s happening, folks!
Or instead, lay down a set of streaky elevens in the smoking sludge of melted rubber, leaving behind the scent of petrol and rebellion. Because if we fight for it, we might just keep the roar of engines alive, preserve the freedom to go where we want, when we want, and most importantly how we want.
This isn’t just about the cars – it’s about us. About our freedom to feel alive behind the wheel. Let’s take back the roads, one screaming engine, one burning tyre, one defiant gear change at a time.
And may they hear us coming.
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