We need an Alien Invasion

We’re all at each other’s throats and even Mother Earth’s under threat too. Only the Aliens can save us now, kinda. Do your worst ET. I beg you!

We need an alien invasion

The last time we had a World War – that would be number II – we lost an estimated 80 million people, including around 50 million civilians, most of those on the ‘Good’ side. To put that into perspective the entire population of the country that I live in at the moment, the UAE, is less than 10 million.

There were around 30 countries affected by WWII, national economies and infrastructures were decimated beyond repair, an entire religion suffered attempted genocide in the most gruesome manner possible, and two cities were all but wiped out by the world’s first atomic bombs used in anger.

Can you imagine what World War III would be like? Particularly in an era in which we have large numbers of nukes ready to go?

If some idiot did pass his idiot boss the nuclear football, and everyone did hit the big red buttons together, apart from the immediate death, destruction and devastation inflicted on targeted areas, and then the ensuing fatal radiation poison afflicting anyone that did somehow survive, over 150 million tons of smoke would envelope the entire planet for at least a quarter of a century, blocking out the sun, eradicating agriculture and probably bringing on the big freeze. And, there’d be no Wi-Fi.

According to scientists – and they know about this shit, they’ve run projections and simulations – a mass extinction event would occur. Yep, just like 65 million years ago when the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid. In fact 70% of species disappeared from the planet, including all animals that weighed over 25kg – don’t bother, no diet is gonna get you down to less than that. Even those ensconced in bunkers would not survive long term.

Grim hey?

Dr Strangelove

Yet in regards to rising tensions between America and North Korea the deployment of Nuclear Weapons has actually been discussed.

A major election candidate in the UK was recently asked if he would launch first if it came down to it. He said no he wouldn’t. The retort suggested it would be too late to launch second. But the actual point was moot. Launch a Nuclear War and we all lose. All of us. Every one of us on this planet. Everywhere.

And yet things are getting ripe for a good old fashioned global ding-dong aren’t they?

Well compare current conditions to those leading up to WWII – belligerent leaders; rise of fascism; increased militarism; aggressive foreign policies, hatred and mistrust of minorities; as well as religious and ethnic cleansing, subjugation, persecution, and ultimately attempted extermination. Didn’t someone recently use the phrase ‘Final Solution’? Yes, you did just feel me shudder.

We’ve been here before though since the Second World War. About 50 years ago actually. But thankfully a lot of people smoked a lot of stuff, said a lot of Om, went full Technicolor, put on rose-tinted spectacles, strummed a lot of guitars and laid about en masse urging the world to give ‘Peace a Chance, Man,’ and then we all made ‘Love not War’ because, heh, The Pill innit? Way hay!

However drugs are now legal, music is manufactured, poetry is passé, sex is overrated and we’re all too busy taking perfect Selfies to give anything a chance anymore.

So we’ve had it then?

Not so fast. See I have a thought which I share with no less a luminary than former US President, Rootin Tootin Ronald Reagan.

Dismiss him as derailed if you like (although the present incumbent of his esteemed position makes Reagan look like Einstein’s Dad) but he wasn’t the only one that thought like this.

Pop culture fiction and movies have frequently explored the ultimate evolution of the precept: ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend.’

They include acclaimed graphic novel ‘Watchman’ (not so much the movie though) and films like Independence Day (the first one) – remember the scene where they relay how to destroy the alien craft to all the remaining armies around the world and then they all work together? Despite the total annihilation scenario, I found that remarkably uplifting and inspiring.

The trouble is though, there are no such things as Aliens, right?

Ah, erm… just hang on a minute. Play this.

Okay Paul Hellyer (what a great name by the way: ‘Do you believe in Aliens?’ ‘Hellyer!’) may have been a former Defence Minister, an aeronautical engineer, served as a gunner in the army, and is the longest serving current member of the Privy Council of Canada, but then again, he is 93-years old and says stuff like – the Reptilians are the bad guys, and the Tall Whites are the good guys and they mostly come from Mars, Venus and Saturn.

Okay, whilst it might be conceivable that there are aliens on Mars who have somehow evaded our Rovers posting pics of them sunbathing on Instagram (or maybe the pictures got deleted because they were topless!) but Venus has a temperature of over 400C, the atmospheric pressure of being a kilometre under water and 90% Carbon Dioxide in the air which also happens to have a sulphuric acid shroud. As for Saturn, well that’s just a gas giant.

So it wouldn’t be entirely unfair to dismiss him as, utterly demented. Although, it is suspected that one of Saturn’s moons, Titan, could have water and an atmosphere, so maybe that’s what he meant?

However, you now have Real Estate billionaire and aerospace mogul, Robert Bigelow, (he wants to create the first orbital hotels!) who has gone on public record as stating that Aliens already live among us.

Now considering this is a man who must be commanding a ton of investment based on his personal sanity, not to mention reliability, why would he risk all that for a click-bait claim to be on drinking terms with Extraterrestrials?

And you’d better hope he’s all there, because you might be holidaying in his space motels in few years and if the A/C doesn’t work in your room, you will boil to death.

Having said all that, the hugely popular and respected high profile scientist, Bill Nye, aka The Science Guy (and I count myself as a fan), doesn’t believe in aliens having visited us, because as he rightly asks – where is the evidence? With all the camera phones on the planet, not one person has so far managed to bag that first #AlienSelfie? Plus he reasons that ‘governments suck at keeping secrets’ so how could they have hidden something as significant as this?


On the other hand, another former President, Bill Clinton also talked about alien life, and his ife, Hillary I-could-have-been-a-female-President Clinton, also did promise to reveal all about Area 51 if she was elected. And yet, then she wasn’t. Hmm…

And if we’re going to cite prominent and respectable personalities on the topic of aliens here’s another load – including two more Presidents (it’s like they’re dying to tell us something but just can’t, isn’t it)? Oh, and read this first one really carefully – you may have a ‘Holy Shit’ moment!

General Douglas MacArthur, the Korean and Second World War soldier, said in 1955: ‘the next war will be an interplanetary war. The nations of the earth must someday make a common front against attack by people from other planets. The politics of the future will be cosmic, or interplanetary’.

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill (former British Prime Minister 1940-1945 and 1951-1955): ‘I, for one, am not so immensely impressed by the success we are making of our civilization here that I am prepared to think we are the only spot in this immense universe which contains living, thinking creatures, or that we are the highest type of mental and physical development which has ever appeared in the vast compass of space and time.’

Jimmy Carter (US President from 1976 to 1980): ‘I don’t laugh at people any more when they say they’ve seen UFOs. I’ve seen one myself.’

Richard Nixon (US President from 1969 to 1974): ‘I’m not at liberty to discuss the government’s knowledge of extraterrestrial UFO’s at this time. I am still personally being briefed on the subject.’

Monsignor Corrado Balducci, a Vatican theologian, said: ‘Extraterrestrial contact is a real phenomenon. The Vatican is receiving much information about extraterrestrials and their contacts with humans from its embassies in various countries, such as Mexico, Chile and Venezuela.’

J Edgar Hoover, head of the FBI from its inception in 1935 to 1972, said of a famous incident when flying saucers were allegedly fired at over Los Angeles in 1942: ‘We must insist upon full access to disks recovered. For instance, in the LA case the Army grabbed it and would not let us have it for cursory examination.’

Mikhail Gorbachev, the USSR’s last head of state: ‘The phenomenon of UFOs does exist, and it must be treated seriously.’

Ridley Scott, Alien-series Film Director not only believes in Aliens but, perhaps unsurprisingly, expects them to be hostile (a view incidentally also held by all-round super-genius Stephen Hawkings). Scott said: ‘The experts have now put a number on it having assessed what is out there. They say that there are between 100 and 200 entities that could be having a similar evolution to us right now. When you see a big thing in the sky, run for it. Because they are a lot smarter than we are, and if you are stupid enough to challenge them you will be taken out in three seconds.’

Legendary director Steven Spielberg on what inspired him to make Close Encounters: ‘I was mainly inspired when I began to meet people who had had experiences. I realised that just about every fifth person I talked to had looked up at the sky at some point in their lives and seen something that was not easy to explain. And then I began meeting people who had had close encounters… where undeniably something quite phenomenal was happening right before their eyes. It was this direct contact – the interviews – that got me interested in making the movie.’

Captain Kirk

William Shatner, Captain Kirk himself, and surely if anyone would know it should be him: ‘There is no doubt that there is life out there; the mathematics of it lead you to that absolute conclusion. In my mind, there is no doubt that the universe teems — teems! — with life in all its forms.’

And taking of people that should know, former NASA astronaut Edgar Mitchell (the sixth person to walk on the moon):  ‘When I learned that aliens really do exist, I wasn’t too surprised. But what did shock me when I started investigating extra-terrestrial reports a decade ago, is the extent to which the proof has been hushed up. It isn’t just the US government which has kept quiet about alien visits. It would be arrogant of an American like myself to assume that ETs would only choose to visit my country. Indeed, I’ve heard convincing stories about governments all over the world that know of alien visits – including the British government.’

Gordon Cooper, first American manned mission Project Mercury 1958-1963: ‘I believe that these extraterrestrial vehicles and their crews are visiting this planet from other planets, which are a little more technically advanced than we are on Earth,” he told the UN in 1984. We may first have to show them that we have learned how to resolve our problems by peaceful means rather than warfare, before we are accepted as fully qualified universal team members. Their acceptance will have tremendous possibilities of advancing our world in all areas.’

That’s a pretty significant line-up by any standards.

And if there are Aliens then perhaps there is already a Starfleet, The Federation, The Enterprise and Captain Kirk! Perhaps the legendary starship already exists! Okay I just went too far didn’t I? Even so, you might get a kick out of watching this.

However as a final thought, what if it’s all just a reverse conspiracy, a con, an extremely elaborate hoax? Maybe there’s no conspiracy to hide the truth, but in actuality to propagate the notion of an alien presence – perhaps for nefarious purposes (like letting people assign an experimental flying craft or inexplicable events to the existence of Aliens).

But then whether real or not, surely there is an opportunity to employ the ‘presence of an Alien threat’ as a unifying factor for our painfully fragmented poor planet? Remember in the 1930s some New Yorkers listening to Orson Welle’s reading of HG Well’s iconic sci-fi story ‘War of the Worlds’ actually thought a real invasion was taking place. So it might not be that hard to fool people.

Hmm… think about it. That’s all I’m saying.

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