Cool Cars That Are Now Uncool!

From Hero to Zero: Cars That Lost Their Cool Factor!

Some cars hit the road with a roar straight off the assembly line. They turn heads and get people salivating and dreaming. They’re the stars of the showroom, the envy of the Joneses. However, over time, a few start to lose the lustre and begin to fade. They don’t hold up as well as first thought, and before you know it, those would-be automotive legends become the has-been also-rans that are best left forgotten. Unfortunately for you, I’m about to dredge them back up. Yup, let’s talk about the cars that went from cool to cringe – the motors that lost their spark as the miles piled on.

Vauxhall Calibra

Let’s start with the Vauxhall Calibra, which ran from 1989 to 1997. Back then, it looked like the future – sleek, stylish, and with one of the lowest drag coefficients of its time. It was the sports coupé everyone thought they needed. But scratch beneath the surface, and you’d find it was just a Vectra in a posh frock with a limp-wristed gear change. Sure, it turned heads in its day, but it never quite lived up to the hype. The Calibra had the looks, but today, it’s about as desirable as soggy cornflakes, and its once-aerodynamic charm has aged like a bulging Filofax.

Hummer H2

Remember when bigger meant better? The Hummer H2 burst onto the scene in the early 2000s, all brute force and ‘look at me’ attitude. If you were driving one of these, you were practically Schwarzenegger – just without the physique. Celebs loved them (apart from Prius-peddling Leonardo DiCaprio), and for a while, so did we. But in today’s world, there’s no room on the roads, not enough cash for fuel, and no tolerance for the mahoosive machines we need to compensate for our… er… egos. This icon of excess, has gone very stale, and is more likely to evoke disgusted tuts then jaw-dropping shock and awe. 

Mustang II

Ah, the Mustang II. A car that tried so hard to carry on the legacy of its muscle car forebears but ended up as the Mustang we all pretend never happened. Launched in 1974 in the midst of an oil crisis, it shrunk and wimped out. Smaller, lighter, and more efficient, the jock had become a nerd. While it ditched the muscle for sensible spectacles to fit the era of chastened restraint, what we ended up with was a car that looked awkward, was woefully impotent, and drained of charisma. Today, it’s like the embarrassing relative of the Mustang family – only mentioned in hushed tones and quickly dismissed.

Skoda Octavia vRS (First Gen)

The Skoda Octavia vRS was once the smart man’s choice. It had all the performance of a hot hatch, with a boot that could swallow half of IKEA. It was practical, punchy, and you felt like you were getting a bargain. But, and here’s the thing – it hasn’t aged well. Once a sharp-looking saloon, it now looks like an old office printer. The boxy design, which seemed so smart in the early 2000s, now feels clunky and dated. It’s functional, but that’s about it. You might get one was a frisky budget runabout, but you’re not taking it to the car meet.

1997 Volkswagen Beetle

When the 1997 VW Beetle reboot hit the scene, people went wild. The original was an icon, and the new one looked like a cheeky, modern take on it. But, like all fads, the appeal didn’t last long. Sure, it had that quirky vase on the dashboard, and yes, it seemed fun and retro. But underneath, it was just a compromised Golf and less fun to drive. It wasn’t practical, it wasn’t that fast, and once Barbie got one, everyone else lost interest. While it was an early pioneer of the retro-revival era, the Beetle’s contrived design quickly lost its charm.

Pontiac Solstice

The Pontiac Solstice – America’s answer to the Mazda MX-5. It was supposed to be a sporty, affordable roadster for the masses, and at first glance, it looked the part. It had curvy lines, a punchy stance, and people hoped it would give the Miata a run for its money. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Poor handling, questionable build quality, and a lacklustre driving experience meant the Solstice didn’t live up to its looks. These days, it’s more of a forgotten footnote in Pontiac’s history – a car that promised much and delivered… well, not a lot.

1990 Lotus Elan

The 1990 Lotus Elan – oh dear… is this a sacred cow? Am I going to get killed or, worse, cancelled for mentioning the fabled front-wheel-drive sports car in this company? That too, being a long-time Lotus fan? Don’t get me wrong – this car had some serious engineering under its belt, putting it at the top of the tree for sporty handling prowess among front-drivers. Powered by an Isuzu engine, it was quick, nimble, and surprisingly practical for a sports car. But there was one problem – it looked contemporary, but a bit too much like a low-flying space pod. Unlike the sexy, sleek designs we’ve come to expect from Lotus, the Elan looked a bit like a plastic, mobile miniature pyramid. And despite impeccably answering questions no one had ever asked of a FWD sports car, purists still hated it for not driving the rear wheels. Today, while it’s still a hoot to drive, the Elan doesn’t have the timeless beauty of its competitors. A last minute addition to this line-up but it’s fair to say, as much as it pains, it’s just not cool anymore. 

Mitsubishi Pajero/Shogun (except Evo)

Back in the day, the Mitsubishi Pajero (or Shogun as we called it in the UK) was the boss’s car. If you had one, you were the man. It was a status symbol, especially in places like Pakistan, where feudal lords, ministers and VIPs all had one. But Mitsubishi dragged it out for far too long. What was once a rugged, desirable off-roader turned into an old dinosaur that just wouldn’t die. Unless you’ve got the rare Evo version, the Pajero feels outdated and clunky now – it’s about as desirable as a tractor.

Isuzu VehiCross

The Isuzu VehiCross was a car from the future – or so it seemed when it launched. It had quirky, chunky styling and looked like it was straight out of a sci-fi film. But have you ever actually seen one out in the wild? How did this thing get lost in space? Its proportions were off, the cladding looked like it was glued on as an afterthought, and those tiny wheels made it look almost comical. What was once futuristic now looks strangely dated. It’s like Solarcraft from Logan’s Run – back then, designers thought it looked sleek and advanced, but today, it’s a bit ridiculous really.

Citroen Saxo

Finally, we come to the Citroen Saxo. In the late 90s and early 2000s, this was the car every young lad wanted. It was affordable, light, and perfect for slapping on a massive spoiler and neon lights. But the boy racer era is long gone, and now the Saxo just looks like an old, tired hatchback. Its glory days are over, and while it once had street cred, today even your aunty Mildred wouldn’t be seen dead in it. The Saxo has gone from being the darling of the car park meet-ups to something you wouldn’t bother starting, let along modify!

So, there you have it! These cars once turned heads and made people go “wow,” but today they just make you say “no”. It’s funny how time changes what we consider cool, right? Or am I wrong? Well here’s your right to reply, do it in the comments below, or tell me what car do you think went from hero to zero?

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